Story of us

I met you and acted rude,
Before even knowing you.
I’m sorry for what I’ve done,
I didn’t mean to shun.
Now I know we have a special bond,
And I am quite fond,
Of the person you are.

I’m glad we are friends so far.
I know I said I didn’t like you,
But sometimes I’m not always true.
I hope we stay friends forever,
Maybe have a job together.

I don’t know why I feel this way,
I don’t even know what to say.
I told you I liked you.
Then I was afraid to talk with you.
You knew I was feeling bad,
Even though, I was really feeling sad.
You came over and gave me,
A giant hug.
It meant so much when you did so
For now I know,
We will be friends forever,
We won’t feel strange when together.

Later I had to leave
But I truly believed,
We would see each other again.
For our friendship started to begin.

We gave a hug and you told me
“I will miss you.”
My heart flew like a happy bee.
I replied, “I’ll miss you too”
And I knew our friendship is true.

Now we talk when we can, 
My heart would never ban,
The happiness that fills me when
I see you, hear you or talk to you again. 

All I say now,
Is that I must bow,
To a truly great guy, 
That every girl wishes
they had by their side.

T. Marina

Closing the doors

It takes more time to open
than it does to shut down. 

Carefully placed booby traps,
intricate locks, antiquated puzzles,
elaborate knots, and tricky riddles,
barring the doors closed.
Taking endless effort and struggle
to make them budge,
to hear even the slightest movement;
A new contraption added
each time the doors have closed. 

But once each obstacle is overcome,
each obstruction torn down,
each layer of barrier disintegrated,
with force and care, the doors
can be opened – with hesitation. 

Either blinded by the light coming through
or soaked by the storm brewing,
uncertainty lies beyond, 
brighter or darker than the last time. 
The backside of the door battered, 
splintered, with peaking opulence. 

Beware the shifting winds
Whether warm or cold, the doors
swing shut like butterfly wings.
The same doors that needed
a tidal wave to be opened,
take barely a breath to close,
a small scare or fear of the unknown
may prepare another barricade
to be put in place when the doors
again decide to, or are slammed shut. 

But when the sun shines bright enough
Or the rain falls hard enough,
those doors stay open, unwilling
to close out the sun or rain.
Because it is more painful to shut down,
Than it is to open up.

T. Marina

Yesterday I Stepped

Yesterday, I stepped into reality,
My life changed in many ways.
Till everything became hard.
It hurt to do things, I had always done,
My heart was breaking from the pain.
Without love, my life went down the drain.

Does it always hurt this bad?
How come it wasn’t there before,
Did love blind me from all pain?
Was love the only way to gain?
Can I live without that love that was there,
There in my heart?
It filled my body, my soul,
But now I am empty.

Why did it go?
Am I meant to suffer now?
Have I done something wrong?

T. Marina

Revolved Around You

How can you be the one
that got away when I 
never had you?
When I was just the one
looking at you, like the world
revolved around you,
like you were more beautiful
than anything I had ever seen; 
like nothing else was there – 
Making everything else disappear
when you sang.

When I was just the one
who hoped you never knew
how I felt – hoped I wasn’t
as obvious as everyone said
I was being. Yet you knew – 
and you never said anything
because you didn’t feel the same – 
Because you could have anyone 
You ever wanted — anyone. 

When I wasn’t the only one
who thought you could
walk on water. When you
were who everyone looked at –
Who everyone wanted. You
gave everyone attention, and none
all at the same time.
You knew everyone wanted you.

Yet you remain just you.
And I remain just me. 
You surface in my thoughts
And I wonder why, why you?
Do you ever think of me
or is it this pathetic and sad
one sided conversation
into the void, to the one
I never had…yet…I feel I lost.

T. Marina

Heartbreaker

They said you were going to be a heartbreaker,
Have guys lined up around the block,
Have your pick of the perfect guy,
Find the one; and live happily ever after.

You were supposed to be the heartbreaker.
But you were the one who was broken.
You fell and fell hard,
You didn’t find the perfect guy,
There was no happy ever after.

The heartbreaker is broken,
Standing here super glued together,
The shattered pieces haphazardly
Put back together and ready to break
Again, at any moment. 

Afraid to fall again,
But hopeful to put the pieces
Back together, without cracks,
Without feeling afraid. 
Not to be broken,
And not to be the breaker.
They said you were going to be a heartbreaker – 
They were wrong.

T. Marina

Dive Deeper Into Oblivion

Looking back, drowning
In vision of what could have,
Would have and should have been.
Diving deeper into oblivion
And losing sight of what
Is actually there. 

Learn to observe the oblivion
Of thoughts and outcomes,
That seem bottomless,
Without swimming into nowhere,
Until the new becomes bearable
Until drowning is no longer a possibility.

Keep the infinite thoughts at bay
Lessen the what could have,
Would have and should have been
And strengthen what is,
What did and what can be
But be careful not to
float too far from Earth. 

Stay grounded while peering
Into the universe, deep space,
And galaxies far away.
It will soften the reentry;
The landing back into reality,
Back to what is actually here.

T. Marina

Always Here

I am here to hold you.
To hold you without being there,
without wrapping my arms around
and squeezing you tight.
To protect your heart
while it stays inside, 
beating like a drum,
keeping it from sinking.
To hold your hand
and walk through the day
even when you feel stuck – 
unable to move.
To catch you
when you feel you will fall, 
when gravity becomes too much
to bear- trying to crush you.
To help you stand
when you crack and crumble,
when you seem to break
when you think of me.
I am here.
I am here with you – 
In you – 
Beside you –
Here…
And gone.

Happily Ever…

Waiting to be swept off her feet
To the universe in which she belongs to,
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

Standing at ocean’s edge as waves retreat
Sinking into the sand, stuck like glue
Waiting to be swept off her feet.

Peering over the cliff, her fear of heights to beat
Waiting for the wind to change her view – 
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

Sitting in a booth, primped and ready to meet
As the ice melts, her escape plan overdue.
Waiting to be swept off her feet.

Conversing with friends, smiling to seem complete
Hoping the facade is something they can’t see through
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

Wishing on a star to get rid of this feeling of bittersweet
Wanting a new feeling, one she never knew
Waiting to be swept off her feet – 
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

T. Marina

Escaping in you

Holding you,
The world slips away.
I am safe again
From any and all harm.

In your home, 
I breathe you in and
All muscles relax
Only to be excited.

Exploring you
We are gone,
On constant adventures,
Bringing laughter,
Tears, happiness, shock.

Letting you go
I am left in a daze,
Unable to move on.
Briefly. Desiring to return
Wondering how everyone
Keeps moving,
As I wait to hold you again.

T. Marina

Should’ve Done

I should have found
In some place of my soul
A drop of patience.
Patience to listen,
Patience to learn.
I should’ve listened
Patiently and learned.

I should have found
In some place of my soul
A drop of kindness.
Kindness to wait,
Kindness to love.
I should’ve waited,
Kind and loving.

I should have found
In some place of my soul
A drop of wisdom.
Wisdom to known,
Wisdom to feel.
I should’ve known,
From wisdom and feeling.

In some place of my soul
Lost, and hidden from me
There is patience,
There is kindness,
There is wisdom.
I should’ve found them.
Then I wouldn’t have hurt you.
I am sorry I wasn’t
Patient, kind and wise.
Those are things I should’ve done.

Poem expanded on the line “I should have found in some place of my soul a drop of patience” Othello, 4.2

T. Marina