Two paned glass

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Looking through stained glass
Projecting colors on the world
Too beautiful to be real.
Looking through two paned glass
Hearing muffled words
Interpreting their false meanings.

Dreaming of possibility,
Yet never taking the chance
Only staring into hope
Even if only for a second.
Trying to open up
Trying to invite you in
Instead of pushing you away
– But it fails –
The moment passes
And walls come up again.
Feel the doors slam shut
To the soul.

Trying to pry them open,
To remain open.
Creating some space by
Putting up windows, to see
But hold in the fears
And stay guarded
Projecting thoughts not realities.

T. Marina

With thine

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With thine eyes like the stars
Glistening and shimmering.
Thine voice is but the wind
Surrounding me, whispering.
With thine face like the sun,
Lighting up my face.
I love for us to be
Two beings together.
For now, we reside
As sun and moon,
Not together but linked.
I long to be the ocean
And shore.
Always together in perfect harmony.
Thou does not notice this longing,
Hidden like Pandora’s box,
Though shining like gold
In a treasure chest.

T. Marina

Split in half

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You only want to leave
because you just got back.
You only long to go
because you just went.

How do you explain
that you are always split –
Your heart and soul –
Split in half…

There is a piece of you
that is always away,
Pulling you like a magnet
and the longer and further
you stay away,
its pull start to fade…
You become accustomed
to the tugging and pull.

The closer you get
to the piece of you, the tug
and pull and magnet
Is recharged and strengthened –
You start to feel whole again.
You start to feel your pieces
connect and be at peace.
The fire inside reignited and you
open your eyes to see clearly.

Then as you part,
as you go away and leave
that piece behind,
You are awakened by
the pull, revived by starting
to break apart again.
Jolted by the pain, holding
back the tears as the
fire dies down to embers.

I don’t want to leave
because I just got back.
I don’t want to go
because i just went.
I need to leave
To become whole again.
I need to go
To piece my heart and soul
back together.
But in going,
I am not leaving home…
I carry my home with me
into my future and to
my place.

The energy

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I can feel my blood boil –
My skin start to itch.
Gripping and releasing fists
To expel some energy
Yet the energy won’t go.
It stays pent up
Gaining heat and acceleration.

Breathe in. Breathe out.
Keep breathing.
Calm and steady.
Tame the beasts –
Cool the blood to a simmer,
Back to its river.
Slow the heartbeat
And tune out the energy –
Expel the energy
Somehow.

Get rid of it before
It consumes you-
Before it breaks you,
Before you lash out with it,
Pushing a shock wave
Of pent up energy —
Reduce the energy back to
Its constant, quite,
Steady existence. Not boiling,
Bring it back down
To be able to move on.
To focus on something,
Anything but this.

T. Marina

A Message:

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Send the skies a message:
“The time has come!”
Rain must pour and flood lives below,
Snow must melt and water must flow.
Thunder and Lightning must take over
Shaking all matter underneath them,
Striking fear into all living things.

Send the ground a message:
“The time has come!”
Plates must shift and unsettle all above,
Grass must burn and dust must blow.
Mudslides and Avalanches must collide,
Sweeping the land in front of them
Clearing the land into a blank canvas.

Send the lover a message:
“The time has come!”
Love must end and ruin every life,
Conversations must die and glances must fade.
Tears and Strength must descend,
Dampening the soul’s foundation,
Weakening the heart into hiding.

Send the parents a message:
“The time has come!”
Bills must be paid and debts control life.
Children must grow and adults must be born.
Distance and Love must expand,
Tangling every possible emotion within
Breaking boundaries to an unknown world.

Send the child a message:
“The time has come!”

T. Marina

Blossom

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Plant the seed.
Water and sunshine,
Words of encouragement.
The seed starts to grow
underground.

Unseen until it peaks
To feel the sunshine.
Reaching for the sun
Growing and growing,
And blossoming

Possibly into a beautiful
And large flower.
Absorbing the water
And sunshine,
And pushing itself.

But the ground freezes
Forcefully stopping
Growth and sunshine.
Realizing it was fluorescence,
Reaching towards imitation
Sunlight, shrinking to the frost
And wishing it was still
Only a seed.

T. Marina

Take A Look

T. Marina1 Comment

I find myself searching
for you.
Whether down a hall,
or in a crowd,
I keep looking,
hoping we will make eye contact.

Hopeful to initiate conversation
through a look.
But I have to find
you first.
So, turn on the fog lights,
Start up the sonar,
Send out the drones,
Get out the binoculars,
increase hearing sensors
in case I hear you before
I see you.

But the key is to not be
Obvious.
As covert as a spy —
Seemingly normal when we do
run into each other.
Can’t seem too eager
Or desperate
Or that the only reason I am here…
Is the possibility
of seeing you.
of talking with you.

This futile exercise of
raising hopes and
letting them crash back down
to Earth.
Me, always, constantly looking
out for you
For someone…
with blinders from everything else,
letting the world pass in
those chances and glances.

I spend all my time looking
that I don’t see —
or wouldn’t see
if someone was looking
for me.

T. Marina

Feeling Like a Fool After You

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Now broken, not making it through.
We used to reside on cloud nine –
Feeling like a fool after you.

You were there before I knew
I needed you to be mine.
Now broken, not making it through

It took time, but my affection grew,
Emotions strengthen and align,
Feeling like a fool after you

Falling in love with my new view,
You and I were fate’s design,
Now broken, not making it through

Suddenly you broke my world in two –
There never was a warning sign.
Feeling like a fool after you

Trying to see how life came to
Shattered pieces pretending to be fine,
No broken, not making it through,
Feeling like a fool after you.

T. Marina

Damages in my wake

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Stuck looking in the past.
Unable to live in the present.
Terrified to look to the future.

Running in one place,
with my head turned back
staring at the fires behind –
the damages in my wake
that leaves me standing…
Analyzing the wreckage
to find a clue
that will ensure no more ruins
lie ahead of me –
not like the ones before

I close off.
Build walls and gates.
Petrified of the floods
that can break them
and crumble what is left
held roughly together.

Yet, as I turn to look at the sun,
the light shines and
warms me, and reminds me,
that beauty lies in possibility
of the morning sun –
of the chance to fly.
Even if destruction may come

That fear cannot win all.
That the ruble stands
and creates new opportunity
making the path ahead…

Therefore, I turn.
I stop running and not moving.

Start to walk a new stride –

Believing in the chance
to start a fire
that will light the path
toward the new.

T. Marina