Dive Deeper Into Oblivion

T. MarinaLeave a comment

Looking back, drowning
In vision of what could have,
Would have and should have been.
Diving deeper into oblivion
And losing sight of what
Is actually there. 

Learn to observe the oblivion
Of thoughts and outcomes,
That seem bottomless,
Without swimming into nowhere,
Until the new becomes bearable
Until drowning is no longer a possibility.

Keep the infinite thoughts at bay
Lessen the what could have,
Would have and should have been
And strengthen what is,
What did and what can be
But be careful not to
float too far from Earth. 

Stay grounded while peering
Into the universe, deep space,
And galaxies far away.
It will soften the reentry;
The landing back into reality,
Back to what is actually here.

T. Marina

Always Here

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I am here to hold you.
To hold you without being there,
without wrapping my arms around
and squeezing you tight.
To protect your heart
while it stays inside, 
beating like a drum,
keeping it from sinking.
To hold your hand
and walk through the day
even when you feel stuck – 
unable to move.
To catch you
when you feel you will fall, 
when gravity becomes too much
to bear- trying to crush you.
To help you stand
when you crack and crumble,
when you seem to break
when you think of me.
I am here.
I am here with you – 
In you – 
Beside you –
Here…
And gone.

Creating a River

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The ocean hides the tides.
The constant pushing and pulling,
Until a wave reaches the shore.
Pushing rocks away
And pulling sand back into the depths.
Perpetually tugging at every limb.
No escape once the tide’s latched on.
Life becomes a roller-coaster
Going up sustaining rushing falling

Upside-down and around turning turning
twisting rushing jerking back and forth
side to side falling rushing suddenly

stopping.

Making you nauseous,
Sea sick, until you want to vomit.
Head spinning, stomach keeps flipping
yet nothing comes out.
No words, sounds, just pain within.
There is no way to stop the ocean
Other forces, unknown, control it.
Tides can sweep over at any time
at any velocity, with any force
forcing the world to turn, turn,
twisting and turning forever, until
a new tide is created.
A smaller yet more powerful one
Coming from within and pouring out
Stopping the tides and creating a river —
safety from the ocean.

At least until the tears stop falling.

T. Marina

Happily Ever…

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Waiting to be swept off her feet
To the universe in which she belongs to,
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

Standing at ocean’s edge as waves retreat
Sinking into the sand, stuck like glue
Waiting to be swept off her feet.

Peering over the cliff, her fear of heights to beat
Waiting for the wind to change her view – 
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

Sitting in a booth, primped and ready to meet
As the ice melts, her escape plan overdue.
Waiting to be swept off her feet.

Conversing with friends, smiling to seem complete
Hoping the facade is something they can’t see through
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

Wishing on a star to get rid of this feeling of bittersweet
Wanting a new feeling, one she never knew
Waiting to be swept off her feet – 
Visions of happily ever after becoming obsolete.

T. Marina

Escaping in you

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Holding you,
The world slips away.
I am safe again
From any and all harm.

In your home, 
I breathe you in and
All muscles relax
Only to be excited.

Exploring you
We are gone,
On constant adventures,
Bringing laughter,
Tears, happiness, shock.

Letting you go
I am left in a daze,
Unable to move on.
Briefly. Desiring to return
Wondering how everyone
Keeps moving,
As I wait to hold you again.

T. Marina

Crashing Through a Hurricane

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I cannot sit silenced anymore.
It is not my place, yet I reside
In the middle of the battlefield.
I cannot shed tears for you anymore
Though I so long to drown in sorrow
And clear the snow with my salty eyes.
There is no more yelling to go
The falling has stopped, yet we remain
Suspended in the air, so close to crashing-

floating soaring flying gliding suspended catching air
drifting floating, blowing in the wind
crashing downfall
Falling
mayday
mayday
mayday
floating flying soaring
crashing
falling
suspended

The wind is blowing so hard 
and the currents moving so fast,
I am unsure as to whether 
I am up or down. The Earth 
continues to spin only making 
me dizzy with no way of knowing 
if the world has stopped 
or we are spinning so fast 
we merely seem to be standing still. 
Stopped in time and 
weightless for the slightest moment—

When the rain can fall,
And the clouds can roll,
And thunder shakes the world.
Lightning cracks where we stand.
Unstable, the earthquakes send us overboard,
But the tornado catches us
We float for the time being,
While all else is ruined around us.
The rain pours and the hurricane starts
Then dropped into the hurricane,
Your tsunami washes over me
And I am done for. Underwater
Not even the wind can blow me dry,
Forever soaked to the bones.
The sun tries to break through the clouds but the
Storm continues to brew till sunrise comes again
And only its smile and hug can save me,
Can lift me up again.
Though my bones have become brittle
And my heart has become like
The wind and rain, uneven,
Unpredictable.

As long as the sun never lets go,
My skin will be warmed and the storm
Will be held at bay.

Fiery to Flames

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The phoenix will always rise again
from it’s own ashes made by spectacle.
How long it will take is never certain.
When it is ready, the phoenix will rise,
and all will marvel at the sight.
Heart full and hopeful to see it grow,
Waiting until the phoenix flies.
An astonishing show of beauty and wonder,
Fiery red and orange, soaring the skies –
over mountains and through deep valleys,
catch a glimpse of the phoenix
before the color becomes intense –
what was fiery is now flames.
Originally trailing wind, now smoke,
a moment before the flames consume,
The phoenix burns bright and bold
and ashes start to sprinkle
feathers molting to flame and ash.
And then the splendor is gone.
Just a flash before a pile of ash
waiting to be reborn again,
but no one knows when.
Hearts heavy as the miracle awaits
for the phoenix to rise again

T. Marina

Should’ve Done

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I should have found
In some place of my soul
A drop of patience.
Patience to listen,
Patience to learn.
I should’ve listened
Patiently and learned.

I should have found
In some place of my soul
A drop of kindness.
Kindness to wait,
Kindness to love.
I should’ve waited,
Kind and loving.

I should have found
In some place of my soul
A drop of wisdom.
Wisdom to known,
Wisdom to feel.
I should’ve known,
From wisdom and feeling.

In some place of my soul
Lost, and hidden from me
There is patience,
There is kindness,
There is wisdom.
I should’ve found them.
Then I wouldn’t have hurt you.
I am sorry I wasn’t
Patient, kind and wise.
Those are things I should’ve done.

Poem expanded on the line “I should have found in some place of my soul a drop of patience” Othello, 4.2

T. Marina

My Canvas

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It started out bare and empty.
A new canvas to paint.
Reds, Blues, Greens, Golds
Every color under the sun.
The canvas was covered and hung.
Over time colors faded, but
New colors appeared, even patterns.
The time has come though,
To take down the canvas.
Tear away all the layers of paint.
Goodbye purples, oranges, silvers.
Goodbye Reds, Goodbye Blues, Goodbye Green
And Goodbye Golds.
The canvas is ready again
As if it was never painted once
To be painted again, yet never the same.

The Gap

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Mind the gap!

Whether it be large
Or small,
Don’t jump over it –
You may trip.
Walk over it with eyes down.

Observe
What lies within
And what is missing.

Reflect
On what you have
And what it has.

Be aware
Of how large the gap
May be, or how tiny
It may feel…

But you must always
Mind the gap!