I find myself searching
for you.
Whether down a hall,
or in a crowd,
I keep looking,
hoping we will make eye contact.

Hopeful to initiate conversation
through a look.
But I have to find
you first.
So, turn on the fog lights,
Start up the sonar,
Send out the drones,
Get out the binoculars,
increase hearing sensors
in case I hear you before
I see you.

But the key is to not be
Obvious.
As covert as a spy —
Seemingly normal when we do
run into each other.
Can’t seem too eager
Or desperate
Or that the only reason I am here…
Is the possibility
of seeing you.
of talking with you.

This futile exercise of
raising hopes and
letting them crash back down
to Earth.
Me, always, constantly looking
out for you
For someone…
with blinders from everything else,
letting the world pass in
those chances and glances.

I spend all my time looking
that I don’t see —
or wouldn’t see
if someone was looking
for me.

T. Marina